


i'm not my own; it's not my choice

by afrocurl



Series: remixes and such [29]
Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Onslaught References, Pregnancy, Rape Recovery, Rule 63
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-05-31 15:32:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15122444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afrocurl/pseuds/afrocurl
Summary: Charlotte and Erik try and survive Shaw's plan.When they do, what next?





	i'm not my own; it's not my choice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kernezelda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kernezelda/gifts).
  * Inspired by [XMFC/DOFP Porn Battle Entry (2015)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4925002) by [Kernezelda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kernezelda/pseuds/Kernezelda). 



With one of his missions completed, Shaw’s treatment of Charlotte showed no visible change. She and Erik were still brought to Shaw’s lavish parlour, but rather than being raped by Shaw, the devlishman or the terse one, she was spared; Erik suffered more and more each day, however.

Erik took each beating, each degrading comment as if we were born for this. Charlotte slowly realized that there was a deep history between Erik and Shaw; the tattoo on his forearm told her everything else. His anger was still present, but now it simmered low and ever presented while he suffered, coiled like all his muscles to wait out this sick game of Shaw’s.

She knew she was spared for the sake of her child - one she hoped was Erik’s - because he was kind as they spent time alone in their cell. That anger had nothing to do with her, she knew, but everything to do with their situation; he hated it, but he must have known that to keep her hope alive, there were sacrifices he must make. 

Never did he say he hoped for a different situation, but Charlotte wanted him to. He reminded her that this was real; that there was a life inside her that made all of this real. 

It was quite different from his sneers and anger from before, but she appreciated the slow transformation.

They survived still.

-

There were no trips to a doctor to see show her pregnancy was progressing. Shaw saw no need when he hoped for her offspring to be the birth of a new world order.

Charlotte wished that the baby would be more than anything Shaw imagined; her rage grew with each day that she felt the baby kick. Erik looked at her when she winced at the pain, but she still didn’t know how he felt about being one possible father to this child. Erik looked at her with sympathy as she dealt with another sort of torture. He continued to look at Shaw each day as if he had control over his powers.

With each day that she knew she was being used for a lunatic idea. She hated it, as much as she hated Shaw and his band of merry mad men.

-

Raven and Moira must have given up on their search after so many months away. 

Her rage grew as she knew her sister must be struggling to keep herself together.

-

“Oh fuck it!” Erik said through gritted teeth when she guided him back into their room. He took twenty whacks tonight as Charlotte was forced to look on.

“We will get through this,” she said, “We are stronger than they are.”

“Hopefully optimistic still?” Erik asked.

“No, now I know we are stronger and we only have to prove it.”

“And how many more beatings should I take for you to know we’ll end up the victors?”

She had no answer, but she knew it would only last until she gave birth to the baby.

-

Belly swollen with child, Charlotte worried herself sick as she watched Erik take another beating. The blood splattered on her breasts and belly, bile rose and she vomited.

Shaw did nothing.

She seethed for both of them when they were in their cell.

-

“This baby will be more than Shaw imagined, and too much for him to handle,” she gritted out, a contraction rolling through her body.

Erik held her hand, gripped it tight and perhaps willed himself to hope by the look of adoration of his face. It was new for Erik to look at her in awe, though perhaps they had made strange bedfellows - of a kind - here together.

“Yes, let’s hope.”

-

She welcomed a baby boy into this horrid situation, with a touch of red to his hair and a full set of lungs.

He cried and cried as Shaw looked at her, at Charlotte’s breast where her son try to suckle. 

She didn’t blame him at all for the noise.

-

As the baby grew, Erik’s attention to him grew. Erik was captivated by the little one, which Charlotte welcomed; she wanted for the baby to be his.

Knowing that Erik took as much of an interest in the child as she did, gave her one small chance to smile each day.

-

Little one nursing, Erik beaten at the floor, Charlotte’s rage overtook her.

She screamed, the baby screamed and then the world went white.

-

Waking to dull white noise was hard to do, but Charlotte slowly pulled herself up from her prone form the couch to looked around.

Erik was still on the floor, knocked out hopefully, and the baby was lying on the floor, unharmed.

No one else was present, though there was blood everywhere.

Perhaps their hopes had been answered.

-

They were able to release each other from their restrictions - Charlotte took off Erik’s collar before Erik lifted that damned headwear - and each took in their powers slowly.

The world was real again. But the feel of Erik’s mind - strong, determined, proud, mildly angered - was second to the feeling from her baby’s mind.

It teemed with a rage that felt familiar; it was how she felt before Shaw’s body was killed and as Erik felt each day he was tortured.

“The baby, it’s ours,” she whispered towards Erik. “He saved us.”

-

Erik woke just as Charlotte felt minds from a boat from the Coast Guard.

“My sister, and a friend from the CIA are there,” she said. “They’re here to bring us back.”

“What is there in Florida for me now?”

She looked at their baby. “Us. The baby is yours. It used our rage to kill Shaw and his men.”

“Then what will he do without my rage?”

“He’s still your son; our son. He still needs a father. You’d abandon him like you would me?”

“And if I never wanted to be with you?”

Charlotte shook. She had known Erik was a man of few principles, but she couldn’t believe he would abandon a family. “We’re your family, whether you like it or not. I know you have your family taken from you too young. You’d do worse to him?” She pointed at their son - still unnamed - and loved him without question.

Erik walked away from her. 

-

She never had a chance to see if Erik felt the same; as soon as the Coast Guard was able to take them from the last of Shaw’s boat - Erik very happy to twist and turn it into a hunk of metal - Erik made himself invisible.

-

Docked again in Miami, nearly a year after they had been forced to sea, Charlotte saw no sign of Erik.

She sent a message in case he wanted to hear, _We’ll be in Westchester, New York._

-

Raven cooed over her new nephew as often as she could. Charlotte let her, feeling ill at ease around the visible reminder of her short time with Erik.

She remembered little of Erik’s mind before he closed himself to her, but she had hoped he would care for a child as his parents did for him. It was easier for Charlotte to watch someone else play with her son than to do it herself; she loved him, but she couldn’t see a way to love him without missing Erik dearly.

“What’s his name?” Raven asked as she looked the baby over, trying to play peek-a-boo.

“We never decided on one--”

“You never talked about a name?”

“Rather busy most of the time, dear. I also wasn’t certain the baby was Erik’s until after Shaw was dead.”

Raven hummed. “Isn’t it custom for Jews to name their children after family members?”

“Yes, but I never knew more of Erik’s family. It was always Mamma and Pappa.”

“Then guess. I don’t like calling him baby.”

Charlotte gave a small nod, but had no idea where to start.

-

Charlotte ached for Erik in ways she hadn’t imagined. She had seen brief flashes of his kindness, of his consideration, of his love, but now all she had with her were those memories, colored blue in his absence.

She cried when she missed him most.

It felt worse to cry over a man who was kind to her than it did to mourn for his touch.

-

Unmarked letters arrived to the mansion, in quick succession, each with a different country of origin.

“I miss you and the baby, but I have work to do,” said one.

“Did you name him? I would like to know what to call him when I return to you,” said another.

Charlotte had no heart to try and think of answers, hiding the letters away.

-

“Where is Daddy?” David asked.

“Daddy’s away on business,” was her answer.

It was only half a lie; and she hoped that later he would never realize how often she told him less than the truth.

David was powerful - maybe more powerful than she was - and he would learn sooner rather than later how little she knew of the man who had slept with her.

-

A sleek car drove up the drive one day, the mind of the driver difficult to read. Charlotte had only a sliver of hope that it was Erik, but she kept it buried deep in her heart until someone walked out of the car.

Erik - it was him - walked out as if he owned all of the property.

“Hello, Charlotte. I’m sorry this visit was so long in coming.” There was still a look to Erik that he chose to suffer for some greater reason - he was too gaunt but looked impressive in his khakis and turtleneck. He was too thin for a man of thirty-eight, but at this point Charlotte was too thin for a mother of a two year old.

“It has been, but you’re welcome here. David will be pleased to meet you.”

“David is a good name.”

“I had no clue of your family names, but it felt right.”

“It will be fine, thank you.”

“And before David knows that you’re his father, will you be staying for a time?”

“I--” Erik started. 

“Say no more, Erik. You’ll be a friend from Oxford until you feel ready to tell him otherwise. His telepathy is not strong yet to read your thoughts.”

“And his rage?”

“He’s a quiet boy, and he shows no sign of being affected by what he did before. He doesn’t know he did it. Keep it that way.”

Erik nodded and followed Charlotte into the house.

-

David seemed happy to meet one of Mommy’s friends from university, but as Charlotte looked at David and Erik, her heart couldn’t take the domestic nature of it.

They were happily playing with David’s blocks, but Charlotte told herself not to see this as a long-term situation.

-

Charlotte had a room made for Erik after he said he wanted to stay for a few days, though she longed for Erik to stay with her.

They had no said anything while in captivity that said they would be friends otherwise, but she wanted to test the waters all the same.

-

“Can Erik read me a story?” David asked as he stifled a yawn after they had an early dinner.

“Only if he wants to,” Charlotte replied, keeping the wistfulness from her voice.

Erik nodded, letting David guide them to the nursery.

Charlotte headed to find a tumbler of something to drink while she tried to calm her mind and her heart.

-

“Are you planning on staying for longer than a fortnight?” she asked, glass still in hand when Erik walked into the library forty-five minutes later.

“I don’t know. Business is complicated.”

“Yes, of course. You’re still hunting Nazis.”

“And you’re still doing what, Charlotte?”

“Working at Vassar and raising our son.”

“So difficult that must be.”

She scoffed. “You have no idea. I have to explain to so many people that David’s father is not in the picture, then I have to listen to them think me a whore or a slut for being a single mother. I have no heart to say his father is dead, though it might as well be true.”

“We don’t know each other, Charlotte. It’s safer for me not to be here.”

“But we could!” she yelled. “We could talk now. Have a conversation that isn’t you appealing to me to know we were real. And how is it not safe? I’m able to know if someone wants to harm us.”

“You won’t like me, Charlotte. You won’t like what I need to do still.”

“Because you want to kill Nazis and hurt those who hurt you?”

“Because all I am is a killing machine.”

“Then I’m afraid Shaw already won. I’m going to bed.” She turned to leave, not able to continue to listen to Erik berate himself for what someone tried to nurture into him. If he was unwilling to change, she was going to let him go, saving her heart and her son.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to {redacted} for the help brainstorming and to {redacted} for the beta work.


End file.
